how to find your center
There’s a lot of talk about the benefits of “being embodied”, “finding your center”, and “grounding” in mindfulness and healing communities. But like…how do we do that? Here’s one way I practice feeling and coming back to myself. The most important part about this practice for me was truly allowing myself to check in without a motive to calm down or feel “better”.
This particular practice is from Generative Somatics.
The exercise breaks down centering into three forms of awareness: bringing attention to your length, depth, and width. We united these three forms with our three basic needs: dignity, belonging, and safety. It also incorporates getting in touch with what is meaningful to you, but that’s not something you’re required to know immediately. As always, take as much time as you need.
First, notice the length of your body. Scan the length of your body from your head down through your hips to the tips of your toes. If you don’t have legs and feet, scan down to wherever you feel your length ends. Awareness of your length is also an invitation to feel your inherent dignity for you and others. Check in with yourself. Does feeling your full length stir an impulse to shrink or expand? What emotions come up as you lengthen? Relief, fear, grief, empowerment, numbness? Do you feel an impulse to get smaller? Bigger? Can you be with that?
Next, see if you can feel the width of your shoulders, your rib cage, belly, and hips. Often when I am feeling anxious or overwhelmed with thoughts, bringing my attention to my hips (sometimes even squeezing or tapping them) helps me feel more connected to my whole body rather than feeling like a floating, chaotic head.
As you notice your width, you may also practice tuning into how connected you feel to yourself and others (I, you, we). Can you be with yourself and another at the same time? Is it hard for you to feel a sense of self while focusing on someone else’s presence? Do you feel yourself merging with their energy, or can you hold your own while feeling connected to them? Does it feel hard to feel connection and belonging with others in this moment? Do you feel drawn in? How porous do your boundaries feel? Are you leaning forward or back? Just notice.
Lastly, try bringing your attention to your depth. Depth can refer to your physical insides and internal sensations as well as your history, ancestors, deep longing, meaning, or calling. Choose your own adventure on this one. Does it feel good to tune into your story, your ancestors or allies, and your desires? Or does it feel better to simply notice sensations and orient yourself to this point in time? Squeezing and holding muscles and joints may be helpful during this practice too.
Centering in your length, width, and depth is just one way to practice embodiment—there are so many culturally- and individually-specific avenues. Whatever your way, centering practices can build and strengthen a secure base within ourselves. Trauma can make feeling safe and connected difficult, but with consistent practice and support, we can feel it.
Being with our sensations allows us to be with emotions without getting stuck in the stories attached to them. As we practice letting them move through us toward completion at their own pace, we build self trust. And what a f****** gift that is.
Yours truly (and Happy New Year!),
Katie