May mentionables
Okay, May has a lot on her plate. Let’s break this down!
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and May 9th was National Masturbation Day! What do these two things have to do with each other?? Mental health = embodied health. Embodiment includes erotic or sexual pleasure. For my beautiful ace (a phonetic shortening of asexual) folks out there, remember that self pleasure does not need to be sexual to be erotic. In the words of Esther Perel, eroticism is anything that evokes the qualities of vitality, curiosity, and spontaneity that make us feel alive.
National Masturbation Day is an annual event held to protect and celebrate the "right to masturbate".
The first National Masturbation Day was May 9, 1995, after sex-positive retailer Good Vibrations declared the day in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired by President Bill Clinton in 1994 for suggesting masturbation be part of the sex education curriculum for students.
International Masturbation Day has since been expanded to include the entire month of May as International Masturbation Month.
To honor self pleasure and mental health, here are some questions reflection questions and a practice for you:
How is pleasure or masturbation viewed in your culture and family of origin? Was it ever spoken of?
How has that impacted your relationship to your body and the erotic?
How has that impacted your ability to make space for self pleasure, whatever that looks like for you?
If there is fear or tension around this subject, that’s ok! Offer a thank you to those protective responses for keeping you safe. Take all the time you need to explore or widen your pleasure spectrum. You are not behind, and there is nothing to master.
A pleasure practice (from Euphemia Russell’s book Slow Pleasure):
This is a practice to root into the body.
Sometimes it can be hard to remember we even live in a body. Start becoming available to the sensation and subtleties in your body by reminding yourself in this moment: This is my body and I live in my body.
Notice the outline of your body and your skin. Feel the gentle and persistent sensation of gravity and air pressure on your skin.
Depending on your mobility and ability, touch and hold each body part, naming each body part as you become more aware of it. Like a body scan, but with your hands.
Pause on body parts you want to tune into or tend to more.
If you want an audio recording of this, click here.
May is also Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, so I gotta shout out a couple of my favorite Asian American trauma specialists!
Stephanie Foo is a radio journalist, C-PTSD survivor and author of What My Bones Know. If you’re looking for an alternative to The Body Keeps the Score, her book is an excellent resource that is both personal and evidence-based.
Dr. Han Ren is a therapist and trauma specialist that seeks to decolonize mental health. She offers frequent virtual trainings and I always enjoy her Instagram reels (sorry not sorry for sharing them a lot).
The Asian American Mental Health Collective is another resource that offers a therapist directory, trainings, support groups, a therapy fund, blogs, and more centering AAPI mental health.
Yours truly,
Katie
cover art by Hazel Mead